August went from a month that had little significance to me just a few years ago, to one full of anniversaries. My wedding anniversary, the anniversary of my cancer diagnosis and the birth of my second daughter are all within days or weeks of each other. Emotions are high as all of these days are quickly approaching. A year ago today was the last time my life would be “normal”. So much was taken from me in the days, weeks and months following my diagnosis, but so much was gained. Cancer isn’t just about your physical health, it’s also, and I might argue more importantly, about your mental health – the ability to change your perspective. It’s not easy, and it’s a daily challenge, but in order to accept this new reality, I have to look to the silver lining and all that was gained- the opportunity to pump the brakes, refocus my attention to my health, spend time with my daughters, my husband and my family, and allow myself to be present in the now.

Looking back just one year ago, I was a very different person. I was sick – extremely sick. I was given a terminal diagnosis. The outlook was grim. Living to see my daughter’s first birthday was an uncertainty. Call it mind over matter, or God’s will, but I never “thought” I was as sick as I was. Don’t get me wrong, there were really bad days, really tough, debilitating days where I questioned everything, but I always thought of it as a difficult season, and not more than that. Mental strength helped me to regain physical strength.

While I am still undergoing chemotherapy, 25 cycles to date, the difficult season is behind me. I have regained my physical strength, my weight, and am in what is arguably the best shape of my life. From my oncologist to my acupuncturist, I am consistently told that if they saw me on the street, they would have no idea I had a terminal cancer diagnosis. I am beyond grateful to be here and to be celebrating my one year of survival in such a positive place.

Let me say this again- mental health fuels physical health. I am strong today because of one person in particular, my husband. People consistently tell me how strong I have been, and while true, my husband has been equally strong. We were both forced to accept this new harsh reality and he jumped in with both feet. He willingly became my caretaker in my worst moments. He became my advocate when I couldn’t be my own. He became my nutritionist, my personal chef, my researcher. He has read more medical journals than some doctors probably have and he has forged new relationships with individuals to learn of their experiences and successful treatments. But most importantly, he has been my rock through all of this. Although I know he is terrified, he refuses to show it, and instead uses his fear as a catalyst to turn over every stone and learn as much as possible. It is his mental strength that I have borrowed from and mirrored. His unwavering commitment to me and my health is something found in a romance novel, but I am so lucky to have it be the storyline of my life. I never tell him enough, but I am absolutely blessed to have him and I made it through the darkest season because of him.

So, on the eve of my fourth wedding anniversary (and our daughter’s one year cake smash photoshoot 🥰) I find myself crying tears of gratitude. The sheer magnitude of what my family has gone through can never be put into words. To find myself not just surviving, but thriving, a year later is a miracle and a testament to my support system. As I celebrate the many milestones coming this month, I hope my family (husband, parents, siblings and in-laws alike) celebrates too. Not to celebrate me, but to celebrate their own strength this past year. I am here because so many fought with me. I was never in this fight alone.

Cheers to one year and many more to come.